A guide for how to work with positive affirmations, even when you feel the farthest away from what they say.
Positive affirmations have changed my life. More accurately, positive affirmations have saved my life. For most of my life, I have been depressed and felt a sense of hopelessness in everything that had to do with my future. Filled with a deep sense of shame, I was addicted to my misery and defended my negativity way of thinking and feeling, like I was protecting someone near and dear to me. I deserved to not be happy because of the life I was given and the world was to blame. I was a victim.
When I was introduced to positive affirmations through the Louise Hay book You Can Heal Your Life, I was so full of resistance, I had to stop reading it in the middle and take a three-month break.
Here was this woman telling me I could change my life by thinking positively and everything I didn’t have in my life: enough money, a relationship, a job that I loved, friends, and abundance, was because of MY thinking. I was very pissed.
After calming down, I returned to the book and slowly started working with positive affirmations every day. Bit by bit, they helped changed me into a positive and thriving person. Now, when I hear or say something negative, it doesn’t feel good. It still hurts, but I don’t want to be and feel hurt anymore, so I quickly change it to something positive.
Here is the biggest secret I learned about positive affirmations: For them to really work, help you and change you, you need to dive into your negativity and into your shadows and learn all about your demons, your pain and the places inside of you that may be scary. The only way to positive change is through some very uncomfortable places inside you.
Here are 10 steps that show how to work with positive affirmations, even when you feel the farthest away from what they say. Work with this list to turn a painful moment around with a positive affirmation. I did, and it works.
- Close your eyes.
- Feel your pain.
- Give words to your pain by noticing your most painful thought at the moment (No one loves me; I have nothing; Everyone has a better life them me; I’m so fat; I’m stupid; I’m alone).
- Create a positive affirmation that is the complete opposite of your most painful thought at this moment.
- Adjust your affirmation by saying it in a few different ways.
- Choose the right affirmation by feeling which affirmation is making you feel the most emotional, which affirmation makes your heart skip a bit.
- This is the affirmation for you, for today!
- Say the affirmation to yourself as many times as you can. Let your heart start believing it (your mind may take a lot more work). Write it on a card, on your mirror, on your iPhone, or be even braver and say your affirmation to yourself in front of the mirror.
Respond to yourself as you would respond to a family member or a friend who is hurting – why not to yourself.
- Repeat steps 1-8 every day.
- Sit back and watch your life change.
Here are my 10 personal favorite positive affirmations for happiness. They helped me bring a lot of positivity and happiness into my life. May they do the same to you.
- My life is a joyously balanced between work and play.
- There is love all around me, and I am worth loving.
- Today I look for the good in my life, and that is what I find.
- Today I enjoy every minute of whatever I am doing.
- Wonderful new doors are opening for me all the time.
- It is now safe for me to forgive all of my childhood traumas. I am free.
- Today I remind myself that all I need to do is keep my thinking in line with my goals. The Universe will do the rest.
- Today is full of miracles!
- I know that old, negative patterns no longer limit me. I let them go with ease.
- This is a great day to create, imagine, produce, and visualize.